Parents are the closest people that we had, have or will have someday in our life. Our parents love us not because we are smart, or intelligent, or have a nice hair cut, but just because we are what we are – their children. I think that parental love is the most selfless and fair feeling among all others. Parental love is something constant, because my mother will love me, no matter, what grade I will get in the school, what job I will choose or anything else. My father still calls me “my little girl’ and I think it is great. I do not remember dramatic or traumatic events from my childhood – it was the happiest time of my life, and the most carefree. When for your parents you will always be a child – it is a wonderful thing.
My parents are true heroes for me!
When somebody asks me, whom I could name a hero, I do not remember Gandhi or Mother Theresa, because I think that it is my mother and my father. My parents are not known all over the globe; they did not change the world, but they decided to change their own life by giving a birth to me, they have been a whole universe for me and I think it is not less important than become the first man on the moon, for example. I could honestly say that growing up such person, as I, was not a simple task.
Heroes are always brave. I did not meet a person, who will be braver, than my parents. Just imagine: from the moment your child will make his first cry – you are not free anymore. Your schedule, mostly your career will, your plans will be based on the needs of your child. I am pretty sure that the decision to have a baby change your entire life. I did not know what is to be an unwanted baby, despite the pregnancy of my mother was unexpected. When I become older I have understood how brave my parents was when decided to have a baby, and it inspires me.
Heroes are always an exemplar, they teach us what “good” and “evil” means. I think that the most important example you will get if you will watch over your parents. My parents taught me how to be in a good mood even if you tired or have problems, how to treat their friends and what the word “friendship” means, how to maintain a good atmosphere in the family, and I hope that my family will be the same. I am sure that real heroes are not those, who saved the world in a movie or comics, but that one, whom every day make a little miracle for their nearest and dearest.
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Heroes always try to see the good in others and even in their enemies. My parents always made everything they can make me believe that I am especial, that I will achieve everything if I will work hard for it, that always taught me that there are no unsolved problems. When I was a difficult period in my life, and I remember that everything that I could produce, almost on the professional level, was trouble.My parents supported me even when my behavior was simply awful. I am grateful them for every time they supported me, every time they believe in me, even when I did not believe in myself at all. They see so much good in me that I simply could not betray their faith – it is a pretty good stimulus.
Children are a reflection of their parents
A few years ago I was sure that I have nothing similar with my parents, neither in the character nor appearance. I can see it in my mother – every day she’s becoming much more similar to my grandmother. She is even copying things that bother her from her mother. But now I see a regularity: my parents become like my grandparents, and I would be simply a fool if will not face the true – I will be similar to my mother when the time passes. But I am not afraid or unhappy, I think that it is nice. I really hope that I will be a good mother, like my mother is, and I pray that I will find a man, who will be a good father and a husband, like my father is.
Our parents’ support and help are the main reason we are who we are. They are the most amazing people that could exist on the planet. Ever step of my life, my little child defeats and victory they experience with me and I pray it would last as long as it possible.
2. For some parents, it feels like nothing is good enough.
This is death to the creative process. We’re our own worst critics. Having a second voice telling us that the intro is flat or that the essay doesn’t really reveal who you are--particularly while you’re still in process--makes it really hard to feel free to tell your best story. Particularly if you’re triggered by this because you feel you’ve heard “It’s not good enough” or some version of it your whole life. (And note that I’m not saying that you have heard this, but simply that you feel you’ve heard this--it may not reflect your parents’ reality or actual reality, but it’s still totally valid.)
First, let’s get one thing straight: your mom and dad love you. Even if you feel you have parents for whom nothing is ever good enough, it’s not precisely true. They do care about and want the best for you. Really. It’s just that sometimes it may feel like they’re prioritizing your [getting into a great college/getting an A/insert achievement here] over letting you know how much they care about and love you. Sometimes our parents’ love feels conditional.
If you feel this might be true, here’s something to try:
- Take a breath in. Then exhale. Remind yourself that your parents love you no matter what, and despite what they may be showing you. Keep going until you really feel this, deep down in your belly. Remind yourself of a few moments when they showed how much they love you.
- Remind yourself that you’re going to love yourself no matter what you achieve or don’t achieve. (Tip: place your hand over your heart and close your eyes and say “May I be loved.” Then try, “May I be happy.” Really, try this. It really works.)
If you’ve done this and are still feeling a little wonky, try this:
Go up to your mom and dad and, in a calm moment, ask him or her, “Are you going to love me whether or not I [get into a great college/get straight As this semester/whatever your fear is]?” (I know this may seem a little direct, but deep down this is what you’re wondering, right?) See what happens.
Tell him/her something you appreciate about them. Get really specific. (Example: “I appreciate how passionate you are about your work.” (or) “I appreciate how open you are to feedback” (or anything else--you can find something.) Hint: praise them for something that they are rather than something they do. (Beware of making your own love conditional. :-)
Then ask, “What’s something you appreciate about me?”
And if they praise you for something you do or have done, coach them a little. Ask, “What about for something that I am rather than something that I’ve done?”
Okay, here’s how your parents can help you write your essay:
1. They can help you brainstorm.
Your parents know you really well. Try this: sit down at a coffee shop for an hour and, on a blank sheet of paper, write down everything you think a college should know about you. (I’m stealing this idea from a college admissions rep at the Univ. of Georgia, btw.) Don’t worry about whether or not it’ll all the details will end up in the essay. (Hint: they won’t.) Jot down adjectives that describe you, interesting things you’ve done, random things you like to do, anything you can think of. Afterwards, thank them. Maybe even offer to buy their coffee. :-)
2. They can give you support and feedback after the essay is done.
Some parents will insist on seeing your essay. Let them know you’re going to show them, but to wait. Work on your essay until you feel really comfortable with it. Until you can explain why each paragraph is there, how each paragraph is working in the essay. And when you feel it’s time to ask for feedback, try this:
a. Ask them to say something they like about it first. (This is good advice for any feedback-giving session.)
b. Ask them specifically what you’d like feedback on. (Is it the grammar? The structure? The topic?) The fact is, most people aren’t taught how to give feedback. You can help by giving some guidance on what you’re looking for: it makes it easier both on the feedback-giver and you. And if your parent gives you feedback on something you didn’t ask for feedback on, don’t make them wrong or get defensive. Just note it and then
c. Thank them for the feedback.
Once you’ve gotten your parents’ two cents, remember these three things:
- Before you make any changes, ask yourself: am I changing this because I agree with the feedback or because it’s coming from one of my parents?
- This is ultimately your essay and you’re the one who needs to be happy with it. After all, you’re the one applying to college. Not them.
- Your parents’ opinions, while valid, are just one of the many you’ll receive. And you know what they say: Opinions are like… (well, you can Google that).
In short, be kind to your parents. They’re doing they’re best. Know they want the best for you, despite how that may look, sound or feel.
Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments.